I offer several types trauma-informed services via Postmodern Woman, yet as far as I know, I am the ONLY sex educator who affirms aromanticism and asexuality, who knows of sexual trauma from formal education AND personal experience, and who IS multiply marginalized in ways that are way too often left out of the healing discourse.
Aro, ace, disabled, Black, gender variant, neurodivergent, impoverished, sexually variant, queer, mentally ill, and other Others with trauma can rarely if ever, find proper and wholesome treatment. This is not only ridiculous, it is such an incredibly huge failing. The medical and legal establishments has, for far too long, depicted traumatized people as disturbed, as insane, as distorted. This makes no sense, considering we are most likely to be attacked, killed, and sexually assaulted. This strange focus and obsession on pathologizing valid responses to trauma and the struggle to survive without community support is one of the most damning aspects of #abuseculture.
If you actually want those who most need it to receive compassionate and knowledgeable care, you can go a long way towards that by ensuring I have a sustainable income and support to deliver it!!!!!
“So yeah, amidst all of this cultural pressure, I tried it. I felt that I had to try it, just to see how it would go. I “reclaimed my body,” if that’s what you really want to call it, by having consensual sex with a loving partner. I proved to myself that I could do that, if I wanted to, that sex is not always awful.
It was okay, I guess. I enjoyed it, though I never developed a craving for it. It wasn’t magical. It was not transformative. It was not some kind of grand celebration of my sexuality or my body. I would not even say it was a source of healing, fraught as it was with issues related to my asexuality and sexual trauma. Even though, like Friedman, I too “went back to the drawing board and rebuilt my sexuality and sex life from the ground up” (and much of that work was done right here on this blog), it was still something that caused people to call into question my asexuality and my expertise on myself — both things I had experienced intense gaslighting about from my perpetrator.”
Originally published at keizick.wordpress.com on April 5, 2018.