There’s Finally a Moment to Mourn This

Reflecting on how Hilliary evicted us after her family took advantage of us. I was two weeks from my due date: what else was I going to do but accept her offer? One of her dogs attacked my son and left long streaks across his back (I have the pictures). Then I drove six hours to a house in the desert with no AC or heat or furniture and a top floor we could have freaking fallen through! Then the troublesome neighbor not only trespassed and scared me so much I freaking hemorrhaged, but later on my medicine was stolen within minutes of being delivered. She had neighbors spying on us and just generally did all she could to make my life hell.

By the end of our time there, I was having panic attacks again, was hypervigilant, and broke. The stress of the ordeal - on top of everything else - led to me losing the bit of health I had left, my job, and the resources I did have. I messed up in court by sharing my story instead of just pointing out what she failed to do, and they don't care.

People like me don't actually have rights; it's just a nice fantasy. This experience is only a sliver of the shit I've been subject to just in the past year and a half. I've documented most of it. But who cares? Not like I have any power to ever stop it or change it or even try to assert my rights in court.

It's more work and energy and time and funds and spoons than I'll ever have to attempt to hold all these people and institutions and agencies accountable. It nearly took my life just to survive it all. It will likely never be made right and they get to laugh in luxury while I waste away.

I'm not sad today, oddly enough. Just able to lay this out in particular right now.

Integrated Non-Monogamy, Metanoiac Alethiology, aro love terms, cuil fiction, & more; Speaker; Sensitivity Editor Cuil Press.

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