Not for Naught, These Knotty Notes

I want to stop feeling that staticky echo as my mind attempts to locate my body in space and can only approximate the atomic level.

(What you feel like when your fallen asleep limb "wakes up", but I feel it ALL OVER)

I want to not feel like I'll throw up and pass out every two seconds.

I want to not have my nervous system elecrocute me when anything "touches the sides".

(Like dude in Operation, but my body does it to itself, randomly, and yes, I let out a stream of expletives cuz it feels like Wolverine is stripping out strings of flesh from random parts of me)

I want to not feel my head ready to drop and my focus die instantly because of the weight of the pain and stress my body is assaulted by 24/7.

I want to not have to push through any of this to accomplish anything, because this abuse culture denies chronic illness, trauma, and logic. I do everything I do despite all this bullshit and more.

What. The. Fuck. Is. Your. Excuse?

Written by

Integrated Non-Monogamy, Metanoiac Alethiology, aro love terms, cuil fiction, & more; Speaker; Sensitivity Editor Cuil Press. https://the-metanoiac-portal.mn.co

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