I feel trapped. To get the help I need requires me to do exactly what I can't do which is why I need the help in the first place. And y'all just been watching me get worse and worse, consuming my content but not doing shit with it, and turning around asking for seconds like I fucking owe you.
You can't get nothing from me when I'm dead. Make up your damn mind and maybe stop being a coward for once. Coulda been had my shit set but y'all wanna play like what I'm doing is not work, like I'm doing it for fun, like this isn't my damn life on the line.
I'm likely not going to be on fb much longer. Probly will even trickle off of Medium cuz I'm sick of yte nonsense being praised for bullshit while Black writers struggle to get one like and share. I need to be out of reach of the wraiths and vultures. While you're masturbating off my pain, I got stories I need to be writing. Newer content is shifting behind paid walls.
Not for my benefit. No, not enough of you actually will bother to pay what you owe. But because I know my creations and insights need integrating, and it is in my nature to explain and teach and invent and wonder and create. I need an outlet, but it can't be mofos that don't even acknowledge reality.
I have so little energy left and I'm not wasting one more gotdamn minute of my precious life unnecessarily exposing myself to fuckwits and cjarnes.
29 years of being actively and passively denied even my simplest needs. Dunno if I'll make it much further cuz the urgency has multiplied. But I'll make space like I always do, in which to exist for the time being. Even if no one else shares it.