I can’t fully describe all the various problems I have with this - from amatonormativity to conflating abuse with relationship style to promoting empathy rather than compassion and other shit - but this IS so useful for dismantling some damaging myths about abuse in general. So... Yeah, sharing it but not endorsing it fully.

I do applaud you for realizing that abuse is a cultural issue rather than inherent. I actually coined the term “abuse culture” and have been working on changing the ways we conceive of abuse and restructuring what restorative justice really means in trauma-informed contexts.

have many issues with More Than Two, namely that it’s not trauma-informed and speaks for the abused in harmful ways. Eve and Franklin are rewriting it and I hope it’s better, but it is not nearly nuanced enough, it presents victims as weak, nor does it get to the source of abuse or effective ways to combat it.

I have been writing trauma-informed, polyamorous, intersectional fiction for nearly 20 years. I have unique identities and experiences and education that have allowed me to formulate integrated insight into abuse culture and it’s many tendrils of enforcement.

I have been writing non-fiction articles on Postmodern Woman and Everyday Feminism on issues of abuse and more within the non-monogamous community for two years.

Most recently, I have begun offering my services as an accountability counselor and sensitivity editor, as well as forming the world’s first and only publisher of intersectional Cuil fiction.

I’m very grateful there is more interest and insight into abuse, and that you’ve done your best to elucidate all of that here. There is still a very long way to go, and the best way to support victims and lessen the chances of abuse is to give us bigger platforms, listen to us, and shift resources towards those of us who are resilient and experiential experts.

Thank you so much for sharing a bit of your own story and setting forth more accurate information, especially for non-monogamous folk. ☺

Integrated Non-Monogamy, Metanoiac Alethiology, aro love terms, cuil fiction, & more; Speaker; Sensitivity Editor Cuil Press. https://the-metanoiac-portal.mn.co

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store